Being a single parent is always a struggle, but it almost seems like it is one hustle after the next. At least that is the way I see it in my own life. Especially after the turn of events that have lasted over the past three plus years.

I moved from Fairfax to Novato after 6 years, but it wasn't my choice to move.
I was not ready for change to occur in my life in any way, shape or form, but it was inevitable. I had no control over how things would turn out, but God did. It was a struggle to find a place in Marin at a price range I could afford on my own, but God came through with a bigger and better place and put favor in the heart of my landlord for me. As soon as I planted my flag and staked out this land then my journey began.

I do not regret moving to Novato although my life was turned upside-down and literally rocked by some personal issues, but I am a survivor and I will always make it through with my Lord's guidance. I am thankful I have a strong church family and a network on great friends to support me as well.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

I know it has been some time since my last post, but I had to think about what I really wanted to write about. So I thought to myself...what am I really grateful for? I know it is easier to complain abut the things in our lives that hold us down, but what about the things that make is glad to be alive. What little things make us rejoice and thank the Lord for his provisions?

It is much easier said or thought then done. I really had to mull it over in my mind, you know, besides the obvious things like, food, shelter and the clothes on my back. It isn't easy for me to slow it down and take the time to contemplate the things in my life I could so easily take for granted.

Places where I could say, "I'm thankful for this, but..." My thankfulness should never include a "but". It is hard to come up with a gratitude list every day and think of new things to be thankful for. In the long run though I believe it will make for a stronger relationship with God and it will help you turn your negative view of life into a much more positive one.

As I continued to think about the things that God has given me in this past year, I begin to see a change in myself. I see where God has strengthened my relationship with my daughter, that he has kept my little old pick up truck running, that he has helped me financially even though I don't have a 9-5 type job, etc. So many more things I can be grateful for and too many more to name (which is a great thing!), but of these things I am eternally grateful to God. I can smile and know that He is true to his word ALL the time.

Just a little spiritual food for thought:

Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

I pray your day is truly blessed in more ways then you can fathom :-)

Last week in church my pastor started a series on Joy. He talked about how in the midst of the worst circumstances we are to remain joyful. Boy I gotta tell ya...I have really been struggling this past week with being joyful. This economy has taken a toll on me in more ways then one.

As I sit here and ponder all of the ways I could feel sorry for myself...and believe you me I have...I am brought to the realization that things really could be worse. I am not dying...I am not homeless...I am not without food, clothing or medical help.

Even though my spirit may not be willing at the present time; my heart can be joyful. I have to give in and ask God to remove me from this pit of despair and degradation. I have to lay my burdens at His feet and surrender myself completely to His will. Only then will I find true peace and joy.

I cannot keep trying to do everything in my own power. I may try and try again to gain control of my own destiny, but ultimately it is God who is in control. I just have to be willing to surrender the reins. I know this sounds easier then it looks and for me it is a battle I deal with daily in so many aspects of my life, but even those people whose faith has been shaken can understand where I am coming from.

Don't lose site of what great things God has planned for your life. If you run from God then all you will be doing is letting yourself down. You will never know your true potential. Be strong and courageous...you have more strength inside you then you know. Persevere...keep running the race that is before you...you will finish your goal with God by your side.

Isaiah 49:13 (New International Version)

¹³ Shout for joy, O heavens;
rejoice, O earth;
burst into song, O mountains!
For the LORD comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

Isn't it funny how when something goes wrong in our life about 3 other things happen simultaneously? The car won't start, your bill is about to be due tomorrow and you have no money to pay it and your faucet won't stop leaking...ARRRGH! It seems just at the point when you are done ripping your hair out to the last strand, that there is absolutely no hope left for this situation. In any normal situation that is...

You see this would seem hopeless to most people, but to me I look into the problem instead of through it. I say to myself...God, I know you are in this difficulty...so see me through it. Help guide my way through this tunnel and out onto the other end safely...and you know what?!?! He does...He ALWAYS does.

Because He is a good and faithful God. Even when hope seems bleak and there is no possible light at the end of the tunnel...He is there waiting for us to respond and take a step of faith. To reach out to him through prayer and surrender. It is there in these moments that we are truly closer to God.

If you don't know how to pray or feel it is a waste of time then what is it going to hurt to just say...Hey God if your there, I need your help. He is there...He is waiting...He is listening...

Psalm 34:8 (New International Version)

⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

I wish I could tell you that my life is perfect, but then that would be a lie. Not an uncommon lie, because in reality, whatever stage of life you are in...you really just want to fit in. You want to find your niche. I think that is one of our main goals in life. We all have one common goal...get in where you fit in.

I say this with fragility because I know some people may take offense to what I am saying for the simple fact that they are taking this way too personal and this is just one person's opinion.

Okay enough chitter chatter...I am only saying that we go through life blind in pursuit of a place we can call home. Whether that is a white picket fence with a husband, four kids and a dog or scaling the vast mountains of Tibet. It is whatever makes us happy in the end isn't it?

It is as if we were lacking something in our lives. A place we are trying to fill. An empty soul looking for nourishment.

The reason I am telling you these things is not to preach to you, but to get you to wonder. You are definitely not alone in this universe. Do you realize that God has given you free will to choose the right decisions for your life? To give you a fighting chance over and over again. He loves us so completely unconditionally even when we mess up. What human being do you know that is so loving?

This may sound like a bunch of hooey, but I will tell you that there was a time in my life when I couldn't be bothered with God. I was living my own life...not a care in the world...working hard...reaping the rewards of 2 steady paychecks...when it all went crumbling down. I lost my car, my housing and nearly my life. All because I was concerned about ME and what I could get out of anyone who in my eyes were willing to be suckers. Basically, I used people to get my way... I'm not proud of it, but it is my past.

I surely got a wake up call in more ways than one, but if it wasn't for my mother and her diligent prayers...I don't think I would have made it out alive.

I don't care what anyone says...Jesus is real. I say this from my own experience. Most recently...I was worried about how I was going to get a battery for my car. My car had conked out the day before and luckily my friend was able to help me jump it so I could get home. I prayed that God would allow it to start and allow me to get safely home and he answered my prayer. That night I prayed to God and I told God that I trusted him. That I knew he had provided for me before and I didn't know how he was going to help me get a battery, but I needed him to help me. The following day a battery was provided to me by someone very loving and dear My prayer had been answered.

I trusted...I prayed...I stood in faith...the result was...God delivered me a battery.

I know that sounds really simple, but to be a single mom with no real job...no steady income and barely a leg to stand on...that is a great miracle!

I am thankful to God for his provisions. Even when I don't deserve it, he is always watching out for me.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.